Texas in July
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN...
- The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out
of the ground.
- The trees are whistling for the dogs.
- The best parking place is determined by shade
instead of distance.
- Hot water now comes out of both taps.
- You can make sun tea instantly.
- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty
good branding iron.
- The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little
- You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to
steer your car.
- You discover that you can get sunburned through your
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- You break into a sweat the instant you step outside
at 7:30 a.m.
- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get
knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- The potatoes cook underground, so all you have
to do is pull it out, add butter, salt and pepper.
- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
- The cows are giving evaporated milk
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